One of those sites offering free storage to anyone with an email address, promising that the files would be available anytime, anywhere, to anyone who knew where to find them.I looked anyway, checking the browsing history and bookmarks on my brother's computer. That didn't help and even if I'd found something, I didn't know his passwords or anything. I felt desperate and frustrated, but no longer sick, thank God. I couldn't eat anything, however, and I just went back to bed.Maybe he wouldn't do anything. My brother was a real jerk, I knew that, and even before I'd hit puberty he'd been watching me. Josh was about a year and half older than me, almost 18 and a senior, and he loved me the way a brother shouldn't. Mom and Dad thought he paid so much attention to me because he wanted to be protective. They were actually proud of that, telling me how lucky I was to have him, but I knew it was only jealousy. He'd beat up a boy once, this guy in seventh grade who had a crush on me and wrote. Is that what you would really want, a wife who was living a lie?’ ‘If you love him, yeah. The lie is your problem, not his. If I was in your fiancé’s shoes and you still loved me and wanted to spend your life with me, I wouldn’t want to know. Now, of course I wouldn’t want you cheating on me. But I wouldn’t want one night of infidelity to prevent me from having a lifetime of happiness. So if after tonight you are sure that you can love him and be faithful then swallow your guilt and just be the best wife that you can be.’ She put her face in her hands and sighed. ‘What you say makes sense,’ she said, looking at me with blood-shot eyes, ‘but it feels like a pretty self-serving way to deal with it.’ ‘I’m just telling you the truth about how I feel, having had a few years to think about such things. Would I want a faithful wife? Of course. Would I want a truthful wife? For the most part, yes. But there are many truths that we often don’t want to hear. When I’m dating someone new I don’t.
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